Sunday, April 7, 2013

The Saltless Cupcakes and Other Gross Stuff

HELLO, everyone!  How are y'all doing?

Today, I'm doing a HUGE post...on cupcakes I made recently (and some other stuff).  I've got plenty of pictures, and at the end there are some stuff I tacked on at the hold onto your hats, because you're getting a whirlwind today (don't forget to check out the Kuehl Kids installment for today).

This year I decided to be a good daughter and I made cupcakes for my mom's birthday--chocolate.  YUM!!  I'm not a huge fan of chocolate ice cream, but chocolate cupcakes and just plain CHOCOLATE are good.

There are so many adventures one can have when baking. 

I started out by setting the timer for 30 minutes and letting the eggs and butter sit.  One of these days someone had better explain to me why butter and eggs have to sit (they don't even have bottoms) or I'm going to just stop letting them sit and throw everything together MY way. 

During that time, I fooled around by putting cupcake liners in the pans and mixing up cocoa powder, flour, baking powder, and baking soda.

Isn't that a ton of cocoa powder?
After the butter and eggs had their rest, I creamed the butter in the mixing bowl and began to do the real crunch work.
Despite my annoyance at butter's seemingly endless laziness, I <3 it when it looks like that (top photo).  I think that white shadowy thing that looks like the glare of the bowl is the electric beater whirling around.  <so cool!>  I added the sugar and the eggs (one at a time, like the cookbook said).

Ooooohhhh.  <aliens from toy story>
This part (chocolate photo) was annoying.  I had this cupful of milk and the bowlful of flour and cocoa powder.  The cookbook told me to alternate putting the milk and flour in, just barely mixing after every addition.  For example, I'd put a little of the milk in, then mix it.  Then I'd put some flour in, then mix it.  Then I'd put some milk in, then mix it.  Then flour, and mix it.  I think you get the idea.  Gargoyles!  Can't I throw everything in at once?!!!
But as you see, the result was beautiful to behold!  Rich chocolate batter, looking like silky chocolate mousse, with chocolate chips (not part of the original recipe) just stirred in.  YUMMY!!!!!!!!!
Of course, while this gruntwork is going on, naturally I need a lot of room to mess around with!  And I'm not a very tidy person to begin with...  Cleaning up was also annoying, but I loved the fact that I got to give my mom a break from cleaning up after my messes.
Of course, while I was cleaning up and the cupcakes were baking in our convection and toaster ovens respectively, I had to find the salt, which I'd forgotten to put in the flour mixture.
Poor little bitty salty.  You got left out.  Readers, DON'T YOU HATE IT WHEN YOU'RE LEFT OUT of something?  Like you're invisible or something.  Or like you don't matter.  Or like you're so unimportant they forgot you.  Most of the time, it's just a mistake, but still... :(  Feel for the salt, will ya? ;)
I also strongly detest it when the cookbook says to bake it for a certain time, but THE THING DOESN'T COME OUT BAKED when the timer rings.  Then you have to push it back in and mess with the oven controls.  That's what happened once or twice for me with each pan (one in the oven--the one shown--and one in the toaster oven).  And what's more, look what happened to my arm...
No, that's not a worm.  And no, that's not a leech.  And no, that's not any type of parasite or living organism.  It's just the blister that formed when I burned myself on the top of the oven, which was very hot, come to think of it...  So now I'm carrying around a thing that looks like a leech on top of my arm.  The joys of baking ;)

Now, some people might be wondering why I put that in a post that was meant to be wonderful and sugary-sweet.  Well, I'm just doing it to make you laugh.  Or annoyed.  Or both.  :)))))  There's another gross thing that comes at the end, but don't worry, it isn't that gross.  Just a dead owl that was on top of our roof. 

BUT BACK TO THE HAPPINESS (what a birthday post).  Back to the happiness.

Despite the lack of salt, my cupcakes turned out beautifully!  I ate one right after they came out of the oven...wonderful!  Magnificent!  Bon appetit!  Voila!  Oh, and I learned what it is in Italian (it was on top of the takeout containers you get from Olive Garden).  I think it's buon appetito (one of the great mysteries of life solved).

The cupcake was marvelously chocolatey, with a few chocolate chips every now and then.  The chocolate chips were scarce, so as not to bombard you, but when you bit into it, you wouldn't be searching for another one because the cupcake itself was chocolatey enough.  It was a very good cupcake.  The picture right below is the very chocolatey birthday cupcake ;)

The frosting wasn't real frosting made out of butter and fatty stuff.  It was more like a glaze, made out of powdered sugar and a couple tablespoons of milk, and more cocoa powder.  I also put more chocolate chips on top, to tempt the people staring at it.  Because we usually end up throwing all the desserts I make away (my dad says that men like appetizers more than desserts, but women like desserts better than appetizers), I put the ones pictured above on a heart-shaped plastic platter and took them to church, where they all were promptly eaten (I was very pleased!).

Happy birthday, Mom! 

I also was not kidding when I said there was a dead owl on our roof. 

We were backing out of the driveway one day when we saw something grayish and furry on top of our roof.  We thought it was a nest.  Turns out it was a dead barn owl.

These are the interesting experiences one has in life sometimes.  Saltless cupcakes, second-degree burns, and dead barn owls.  All in a period of two days.  Seriously?


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