Friday, August 30, 2013


Hi guys, I just wanted to let you know that I will not be able to post until Monday or so, because I'm going on a church retreat.

Think of this as a temporary blogging "hiatus."  

And since I won't be able to post the Sunday Serial on Sunday, I'll just do it today :) 

Sunday Serial 3: Jumpin’ Jehoshaphat

abilaire_22: Hey guyzzzzzz....Abby here...
notsomaddex: It’s Maddex.
justin_time: I’ve been lying on my bed trying to think up nicknames for me when I become an All-Star MLB player.  What do you think?mostly_pristine_christine: Justin Thime...Wait, what’s your middle name?
justin_time: You don’t want to know.
abilaire_22: Uh, yeah, we want to know.  Come on, tell us!
notsomaddex: I happen to know, having read your birth certificate online.
justin_time: Maddex is a crazy stinking stalker.  DO NOT TELL THEM, MADDEX...PLEASE...I’M BEGGING YOU...I AM SHAMED FOR LIFE IF YOU TELL THEM...
notsomaddex: It’s Jehoshaphat.
mostly_pristine_christine: You’re joking!
abilaire_22: jumpin’ jehoshaphat, Justin, that’s plain old phat!
justin_time: Maddex.  You have forever betrayed me.  I no longer have your trust.
notsomaddex: Great, now the feeling is mutual!
abilaire_22: Okay, now we’re fully equipped with your full name.  Justin Jehoshaphat Thime.  Hmmm...what about Just In Time?
notsomaddex: Um, Justin isn’t actually his first name.
justin_time: Maddex!  Please!  PLEASE!  I AM FOREVER YOUR
notsomaddex: Actually, Justin isn’t his first name.  It’s Jehoshaphat Justin Thime.
abilaire_22: Oh.  My.  Gosh.  That.  Is.  A.  Major.  Breakthrough.  I.  Can’t.  Believe.  It.  Justin.  I.  Mean.  Jehoshaphat.
justin_time: Guys, I’m not joking.  Please don’t make fun of me.
mostly_pristine_christine: We’re your friends.  Of course we make fun of you.
justin_time: But I’m serious.  I am really, truly, honestly, horrifically serious.  I dislike the name Jehoshaphat, and I don’t want you saying it to others.  Or else I will get mad...and you don’t want me to get mad, do you...???
abilaire_22: I remember you called me Abilaire in second grade when I had JUST gotten everyone to say “Abby” and everyone started saying “Abilaire” and I was so mad that I went and THREW YOUR POWER RANGERS LUNCH BOX IN THE DUMPSTER.
justin_time: :D Oh yeah, and that made ME get really mad at YOU and I ripped your construction paper journal in half and I got in trouble with the teacher, then my parents, then the principal, and then everyone in class started shunning me.
notsomaddex: I remember that.
abilaire_22: Oh, and guess what?  Everyone started being nice to me, but they still called me “Abilaire.”
justin_time: R.I.P. Blue Power Ranger.  You were my favorite.  That’s why you were on my lunch box.
abilaire_22: R.I.P. Abby.  WHY do people call me Abilaire?  It’s THREE SYLLABLES, for Pete’s sake.
notsomaddex: I always wondered who Pete was, and why it’s for his sake.  What about “for Maddex’s sake”?  *sigh* Oh, well.  Unfairness is life.
justin_time: “Maddex” has two syllables.  “Pete” only has one.  Oh, and “Maddex” at the end-- “ex”--reminds people of “22” by Taylor Swift, and that’s just antagonistical to people who aren’t 22.  “It feels like a perfect night/to dress up like hipsters/and make fun of our exes/oh, oh.  oh, oh.”  If you get my drift.  
mostly_pristine_christine: You know what, Jehoshaphat Thime, you’re just confusing me right now.
justin_time: I told you not to call me that.
mostly_pristine_christine: The name’s pretty phat, pun intended.
justin_time: Seriously.
abilaire_22: Dude, why are you so ashamed of “Jehoshaphat”?  (I’m being serious)  It’s a pretty awesome name!
notsomaddex: I often theorize about common issues today, and during my theorizing sessions, I concluded that some people go by their middle names simply because their first name is out of the ordinary.  And they don’t like it when their name is out of the ordinary.  I have still to theorize why.  Probably because they want to fit in.
abilaire_22: Very deep, Maddex.  Oh, and Justin?
justin_time: What?
abilaire_22: Have you ever taken time to wonder why my username in the chatroom is “abilaire_22”?
abilaire_22: “It feels like a perfect night to dress up like hipsters and make fun of our exes, oh oh.  Oh oh.  It feels like a perfect night for breakfast at midnight, to fall in love with strangers, oh oh.  Oh oh.  Yeaaaaaahh...We’re happy, free, confused, and lonely at the same time.  It’s miserable and magical oh yeaaaaaaahh...Tonight’s the night where we forget the deadlines.  It’s time...oh oh.  I DON’T KNOW ABOUT YOU, BUT I’M FEELING 22...”
justin_time: I’m in trouble, right?
mostly_pristine_christine: Maybe, if you’re lucky, Abilaire will throw out your Sesame Street lunch box instead of your Blue Power Rangers one...
notsomaddex: Maybe, if Justin’s lucky, he won’t get in trouble with the principal and everyone will shun him.
mostly_pristine_christine: AHHAHAHA!  I’VE GOT IT!
notsomaddex: You know, you could just say “eureka” and that would pretty much cover it.
mostly_pristine_christine: Eureka!  Justin’s nickname!
justin_time: Should I get this over with?
mostly_pristine_christine: yeah, you should.  JUMPIN’ JEHOSHAPHAT!
abilaire_22: Christine, you are amazing.  You should totally be the lead cheerleader at Justin’s baseball games!
justin_time: xD do you realize that baseball games DON’T HAVE CHEERLEADERS, Abilaire?
abilaire_22: Um, yeah, I am, but then, we could be as radical as samurai ninja!
notsomaddex: I vote yes for Christine’s nickname.  And the samurai ninja part.  And the cheerleading part.
abilaire_22: I vote yes for Christine’s nickname, samurai ninja, and Christine being the cheerleader at Justin’s baseball games.
mostly_pristine_christine: I vote yes for everything.
justin_time: Um...I guess I’ll say yes, too.  I mean, jumpin’ jehoshaphat isn’t as bad as, say...
abilaire_22: Junky Jehoshaphat?
justin_time: Thanks a lot, I think you just gave me a new nickname.
mostly_pristine_christine: We didn’t carry a vote on “junky jehoshaphat.”  So it’s still officially “Jumpin’ Jehoshaphat.”
abilaire_22: Yay!
mostly_pristine_christine: gtg.  See you.  A cheerleader’s job is never done.

(mostly_pristine_christine has left the chatroom)

justin_time: OH oh.  I don’t know about you, but I’m feeling 22...Ta-ta, I’m about to buy that song on iTunes.  Even if I’m only twelve.

(justin_time has left the chatroom)

notsomaddex: Dad and Mom just made their first prototype for the new iPhone’s earbuds.  So, I need to try it.  Bye.

(notsomaddex has left the chatroom)

abilaire_22: Well, well, well.
abilaire_22: Dear Future Me, I Wonder If Justin’s Nickname in MLB is Jumpin’ Jehoshaphat.

Regards, Abilaire

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