Saturday, August 3, 2013

How My Dad & I Got On Somebody's Nerves (And How They Retaliated)

First of all, this is a story about a tennis tournament.

The funny part doesn't happen until the end, so I wouldn't blame you if you just read the end now.  That's the truly funny part.

However, I will recount our day at the tennis tournament, regardless if you read it or not.

This is the second professional tennis tournament I've gone to.  The first one was a men's tournament, and I went last year.  This time, it was a women's tennis tournament, and there were some pretty huge names, even though it was a relatively small tournament.  Victoria Azarenka, Agnieszka Radwanska, Petra Kvitova, and Sam Stosur, among others, participated.

It was really amazing because the tournament was so small, the players didn't have separate exits.  My dad and I were walking to a practice court, where players practiced before their matches.  Victoria Azarenka was coming off the court, and a small crowd of people were gathering around her, pestering her with pictures and things.  She didn't have a very happy expression on--I wouldn't, if I was annoyed by random people who wanted to take pictures with me--and even though she literally walked three feet away from me, I didn't want to bug her by asking for a picture taken.  I don't think you'd want to get on the nerves of Victoria Azarenka.

(taken from Wikipedia)

Literally two minutes later, my dad and I just so happened to walk by Jelena Jankovic, who was talking to her coach. (She didn't have a crowd of people)  I didn't want to bother her either, so I just walked by, like she was a normal person.

I bet that's pretty much what they want.

Later, my dad grasped and lost an Ana Ivanovic signed ball.  It bounced off the back of my neck, and into the hands of the person sitting next to us (just gargoyles).

The first match we watched went excruciatingly long.  Petra Kvitova finally lost, after two tiebreaks, and I bet she was mad at herself (she lost because she double faulted).

The second match, featuring Ana Ivanovic, didn't go as long, thank goodness (it gets pretty long, sitting there and watching the ball go back and forth!), but it went to three sets. Ana--I was rooting for her--won.  Then the whole losing-the-signed-ball episode occurred, and I think my dad still is banging himself for not grabbing that thing when he had it.

Oh, well, it's only a signature.

The third match went three sets as well, and halfway through the second set, my dad and I got up, planning to leave.  But we just so happened to check out the practice courts, where they were setting up a doubles match.  Thank goodness!  I'd been waiting for the doubles match, but they were running two hours behind schedule (because of the first match) and we just didn't want to stay that long.  We watched the first set of the doubles match.  They weren't very good--it was, I believe, a pair who came locally, and a pair made up of seasoned, retired veterans.  The "veterans" won the first set, and then we left.

We walked to the parking lot.  Then, pulling out of it, the highlight of my day:

A lady was trying to read a map and drive at the same time.  Consequently, she stopped at an awkward angle, right in front of where my dad was trying to exit.  My dad looked at her, then honked (because she wasn't moving the car).  Then the other lady riding shotgun got all annoyed.  She finally rolled down her window and shouted,

"YOU HAVE AN EMBARRASSING BOYFRIEND!"

In my direction.

If she thought that would insult us, she was wrong.  Because driving on the freeway, my dad and I cracked up.


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