Friday, March 14, 2014

Ode To...

It's been quite a while since I've written an ode to anything.  It's been a while since I've written about food, too.  Mostly it's just been about my LIFE.


So, I composed this little tidbit to balance all the seriousness out.

Thou hast leaves a lovely taste 
In my wonderful, classed-up mouth
That makes me contemplate love and peace
And wonder what life's about.

It reeks of elegance and 
charming infantile grace.
I could eat it forever
But settle for every day.

Oh, its blessed goodness envelopes 
my downcast, shameful life.
Without it I would never get through
Opposition or strife.

Oh, how it fits so neatly
in my sad, worn-out belly!
Here's to the marvelous joy in life--
Peanut butter and jelly!

It gives a boost of energy 
and makes my day great.
If someone asks me out,
It'll be our very first date.

I can slap it together, quick as a beat,
And it'll still taste good.
The only bad thing about it
Is that the jelly looks like blood.

I seriously LOVE peanut butter and jelly.  If you go back in the history of my blog to this post, you will see that on March 9th, 2013, I still loved peanut butter and jelly.  So it's official.  PB&J's and my first-year anniversary just passed.  

I've probably consumed ten jars of peanut butter and jelly, NO JOKE.  And I've been eating it almost EVERY SINGLE DAY.  For a YEAR.

This is seriously insane.  


(don't ask me why)

But there's a key to making peanut butter and jelly.  See, after eating the stuff seriously for a year, I ought to know.  So...introducing...

  1. ALWAYS EAT IT RIGHT AWAY.  I don't care if you're a day late to school, EAT IT RIGHT AWAY.  It never tastes the same after it's been sitting out.  It tastes disgusting after it's been sitting out.  Point made, EAT IT RIGHT AWAY.
  2. ALWAYS FOLD THE BREAD IN HALF.  Don't waste all that extra time and energy trying to make a whole sandwich and cutting it in half--it's not like you can eat all of it at once.  It saves time if you make it with one slice of bread, and besides, there's that incredibly soft part where the bread folds over...
  3. ALWAYS MORE PEANUT BUTTER THAN JELLY.  I'm a peanut butter kind of person.  Peanut butter should always cover over half of the bread, and the jelly should just be enough to balance it out.  Perfect.
  4. ALWAYS DRINK CHILLED NONFAT COSTCO MILK WITH IT.  Hands down, Kirkland Signature milk is the best (although their name kinda stinks).  And hands down nonfat milk is the best.  And hands down chilled is the best.  So why not slap it all together?  CHILLED NONFAT COSTCO MILK.  Nothing more needs to be said.
  5. ALWAYS HAVE TRADER JOE'S BRAND PEANUT BUTTER AND JELLY.  Trader Joe's is organic, delicious, and absolutely awesome.  Forget Jif and Smucker's--their products are kind of gross, anyway--Trader Joe's beats all.  It's all-natural, and although it's a giant pain to mix the oil in with the PB, it's worth it.  Trust me.

I love peanut butter and jelly--'tis so good inside my belly.  And at the end of this blessed day, I thank the Lord for

P B & J!

No comments:

Post a Comment