Friday, September 26, 2014

Watermelon Be the Death of Me | Or the Attack of the Ants

So, I'm fifteen now.

This is a big number, guys.

1. 5.


Anyway, I don't feel any different, so let's progress in an orderly fashion.

Today, I will tell you the story of the watermelon and the ants. And why there are ant guts stuck in my school binders and why there's eight bites on my right arm.

And I'll show you some amazing pictures of food.

(Keep in mind I am making a big sacrifice by writing this post right now. After all, I could be drawing parabolas or doing something exciting.)

Watermelon Be the Death of Me | Or, the Attack of the Ants

Lettuce get something straight. 


I really love watermelon. 

(I also love puns! Like that lettuce one up there! Did you see it? Did you?!)

I love watermelon so much that I am willing to pack it for lunch and eat it for lunch. 

(Note: Watermelon is best when it's in strips. That way, you just hold it like a popsicle with your fingers and eat. Much easier than wedges or cubes.)

Lettuce get anotter thing straight.

(Otters are really cute!)

I really love my friends too.

(I also love puns! Especially when they involve otters!)

And I love my friends so much that I am willing to not throw out my trash because I don't want to walk the ten feet required to go to the trash can. (The combination of my laziness and their inherent magnetism is too hard for me to resist.)

So, I did not throw out the bag with my watermelon juice or the bag with my sandwich crumbs.

Lettuce get anotter sting straight.

(Puns are also wonderful when you foreshadow something that will happen later on.)

I play tennis!

You've probably heard me talk about it before on this blog.

At our tennis courts, the courts are on the left side, and a fence is on the right. The fence is near a patch of land. (We usually pour leftover water/Gatorade into the land. Ironically, it has almost no plants. Hmmm.)

I had the incredible misfortune to place my backpack (containing my bag of watermelon juice) by that very fence.

I played tennis. (I lost all three sets under #2 singles.) After handing out See's Candy lollipops to my team members (in celebration of my birthday), I picked up my backpack and my tennis bag and walked up the stairs to the parking lot.

Right as I got to the parking lot, I felt several small jabs of sensation (too small to be called pain; too big to be unnoticeable). It was quite weird, actually. It felt like things were crawling over me.

I looked down at my dirty, rumpled tennis uniform.

I had ants crawling over my arms, shirt, and legs!

Immediately I kindasortamaybeslightly yelled a little bit, dropped my backpack and tennis bag like they were hot coals, and examined the scene.


I looked on the ground, and there they were. I looked inside my backpack, and there they were. I looked inside my lunchbag...

and there. they. were.

As of right now, I currently detest ants. I probably will carry this detestation into the days of my oldness.

I took all of my binders, notebooks, books, and stuff out of my backpack. There were ant guts everywhere; it was like an ant gut battlefield. 

(I had a picture but apparently I don't. Oh well.)

I somehow got everything out (save for a few stray ants), and only today I realized that I have eight ant bites on my right arm. (None on my left. Just my right. Does my right arm taste better or something?)


Afterward, I went home, did a teensy bit of homework, and went out for a birthday dinner with my family and grandparents.

We went to this barbecue place called Lucille's, which is one of my favorite restaurants.

Appetizer: spinach dip with cheese and tortilla chips. Creamy and crisp.

These are like the best things ever. SUGAR BISCUITS. They're thick and very buttery, with sugar sprinkled on top and throughout. You eat them with...


They whip the butter until it's at a creamlike consistency, then put some sort of apple spice and cinnamon in it so it tastes like heaven. Best thing ever.

And that's just the beginning!

My little sister is (unsurprisingly) obsessed with macaroni and cheese. She ordered mac'n'cheese from the kids menu, and then mac'n'cheese as a side.

This was mine! I had the Memphis Pulled Pork sandwich, with the mustard sauce and coleslaw, along with creamy coleslaw on the side. (Coleslaw is amazing.)

A closeup of the coleslaw.

This was my grandma's meal, tri-tip with a couple different sides. I sampled this and was amazed--it was cooked to perfection. Quite literally. PERFECTION. Soft and succulent, yet hearty and meaty. It was pure beauty.

It was really funny, because I was describing the tri-tip to the person who sits next to me in math, and I was done with it before realizing that she was Indian! (Not Native American--Indian.)

Not wanting to assume things, I gasped out, "Oh my goodness, do you eat meat?" (Because there is a fair number of Indians at my school, and just from experience the ones I know don't eat meat.)

I think she said that she ate chicken, but at any rate I cracked up. Of all the people to describe the meal to--a vegetarian!

Funniest thing ever.

My mom's tri-tip salad!

After the meal, we went back home and I opened my presents.

But let me say...isn't this cake gorgeous?!?!


My mom has really good taste.

I tried the little edible paper thing. It was basically sugar. 

They surprised me with balloons in the corner. (Plus side of having an artistic younger sister.)

After I opened my presents (BOOKS. BOOKS. BOOKS. AND A LECRAE T-SHIRT!)

One of my presents was a "late-night food basket" from me mum. Trader Joe's caramel goodies were in there!

And...I had a late night of homework. (I didn't want to eat any of the goodies, though--just to save them.) I listened to Taylor Swift and drew parabolas. Fun.

Get it? Fun? Function?

Okay, yeah, that wasn't very good.

But anyway, a couple quick announcements!

I joined my high school's newspaper! 

Also...I made a new blog.

You might be thinking, What? ANOTHER blog?! Doesn't she barely have time to keep up 2?
But this blog is different. It'll function more as a Tumblr (only I don't have a tumblr). It's called "Little Things," and they'll basically be like tweets. 

(If you want your blogger feed spammed, follow this one!)


And I most certainly will enjoy the most recent Girl Meets World episode.


  1. Whaaaat? Ants bite?

    Happy birthday!!!!

    1. Yup, apparently they do! And thanks!

  2. Happy Birthday!
    I laughed so hard while reading this post (I love puns)! And now I realize I've been eating watermelons in a very inconvenient way for 18 years...
    The food pictures look amazing, I'm really hungry now :)

    By the way, as a Teenage Blogger Central representative I want to thank you for putting up a button in your sidebar. If you ever have any ideas for our community or for a guest post, let us know!

    1. Yes, watermelons must be eaten in strips!

      And no problem; I love being a part of Teenage Blogger Central!

  3. Happy birthday!! But seriously?! All those pictures of food made me absolutely STARVING. Seriously...I'm dying now. Delicious. I'm glad you had a good day, though...minus the ants. URGH. I hate ants too. I really really hate any sort of creepy thing that likes to bite. I used to have ants all through my room. I don't even know why....we just had a horrific ant infestation last year? Like they'd be IN MY BED. It was so unokay I'd run out of my room just crying. We got it sorted though and my room is ant-free. But they are pesky little horrors, so I feel ya. I really do.