Friday, October 10, 2014

cominghome | + a multitude of ice cream and a rant about upchuck


First of all, I want to know why it's called homecoming. computer mouse just fell down in the crack between my bed and the wall.

Excuse me while I go retrieve it... it!

There were a lot of dust bunnies and feathers under my bed.

Just thought I should throw that out there.

Anyway, HOMECOMING is just around the corner, and for about two weeks already people have been getting asked and it's been the most adorable thing ever. Sophomores are definitely more sure of themselves than freshmen are. I also know more people than I did last year, so it's definitely more adorable.

Anyway, in case you were wondering, NO, I am not going to homecoming. And, in case you were wondering, NO, I did not get asked. I might've had I shut my mouth and not told everyone that I wasn't going to go even if I did get asked, but no, of course I told everyone that I wasn't going even if I did get asked.

You might be thinking, Why did you do that? It's still fun to get asked!

The main reason was because if somebody had asked me I'd have had to turn him down, and really, I can imagine that it's the worst feeling in the world to do so on both sides. So I told everyone. I AM NOT GOING TO HOMECOMING.

A couple of my friends are, but us undancey people are planning on watching Alexander and the Horrible, No-Good, Very Bad Day (or whatever it's called) and then going across the street to get burgers. 

Once you find people you like to hang out with, your unsociality becomes smaller.

But here are some standards for next year, in case I get asked and in case I actually want to go...

  • Puns are okay but you'd better ask me with your vocal cords too. All the guys hold up signs that say something like (for example, if the girl's a dancer..."it would be dancin' if you came to homecoming with me" or something almost as bad as that) and while that's okay (well, let's face it, that pun was almost as horrible as Alexander's day), but bro, you gotta actually ask. Seriously, man up. You can't propose by holding up a sign; this is good practice for asking your future wife to marry you!
  • Okay, I might be thinking a little bit ahead of myself. I mean, after all, these people are young. They still have time.
  • Although if you think about it, Mary was like 14 when she had baby Jesus, and by then she was married. Yup. Married.
  • The verdict: man up.
  • Also, it's easier. That way, you don't have to make a sign. You can just ask. And if I say no, you'll just have wasted your breath instead of ten gallons of paint and your time.
  • Flowers are NO, watermelon is YES. Flowers have been done. Flowers are overrated. Do not give me flowers. I would like watermelon, please. Watermelon is wonderful. Watermelon you can eat. Flowers you put in a jar and your parents spend money to put water in the jar, and then the flowers die after like a day. Give me watermelon, even though it only lasts two seconds around me.
  • We will go with fellow humans. One on one isn't fun. We'll go with my friends. Also, we will boogie to "Shake It Off."
See, this is why I haven't gotten asked.

Also, my double chin is really attractive.

a multitude of ice cream

My tennis team had to run today. But I didn't, because--guess what?--I still have a cough! And my coach told me I didn't have to run. So instead I stayed inside his room because, like, I wanted to do homework. So I read Animal Farm and answered questions about Animal Farm and did some math and did some Spanish and got sidetracked on Instagram and listened to One Direction's new song "Steal My Girl." The beginning sounds like an eighties song.

I hope the eighties aren't coming back. The music was so bad back then. (And I'm not talking about Madonna bad. I'm talking about, like, musically bad. Everything sounded like bushwackers and whipumstubbubbles came and took over the planet.) My parents say the eighties were awesome, but I say the tenteens are awesome just because the music is so. much. better.

Which reminds me, our kids are probably going to say, "Wait, who's Justin Bieber? Who on earth is Ariana Grande? EWWWW! This music is so BADDD! How could you ever listen to this??!??!"

And we'll be sitting in the corner bobbing our heads saying, "HATERS GONNA HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE. SHAKE IT OFF. SHAKE IT OFF."

I am truly obsessed with that song.

Anyway, back to my schoolwork. My team came back and my coach's parents came up to his classroom (he grew up near my school) and they brought us ice cream. And my coach's dad served us, and he used a knife to scoop out giant chunks of ice cream. It was absolutely insane.

Then there were caramel and chocolate sauces, and I poured so much on my bowl I'm pretty sure there was a 1:1 ratio of ice cream to sauce.

And we all took selfies and just had a grand ol' time.

This is my room.

It's currently afternoon/evening right now, so it's still sunny and bright. 

There is a bucket thing on my black swivel chair because I threw up on--Tuesday. Wednesday. I don't remember. It was probably Tuesday and Wednesday. 

Throwing up is awful. First of all, there's the whole hydrochloric acid thing--it's the stuff that digests your food in the stomach--so you're literally sending this stuff straight up into your mouth and burning yourself in the process. Then there's the whole FOOD part, because it's not like when you eat a drumstick you're throwing up a whole drumstick...if you know what I mean. And then it just...comes. You can't control it, because if you try to suppress it it'll just come out anyway. 

It's kind of like a roller coaster--you have to sit it out.

Anyway, I think I have too many seats in this room. I have my piano bench, my swivel chair, my window seat, my bed and my comfy Writer's Tush chair, and most of the time my WT chair just sits in an awkward corner and gets moved around a lot.


I'm really excited! I saw that he was coming near where I lived when his Anomaly tour dates first were announced, so I texted my dad during my break and my dad got tickets. I will post something about it in the upcoming week; stay tuned!

Anyway, have an awesome weekend!


  1. I'm never going to a dance, either. But your plans sound so much more fun! :) I wish I was allowed to go places with my friends.

    1. Haha, yeah, I wasn't allowed to go places with my friends until I was halfway through freshman year ;-) Just wait.