Saturday, February 14, 2015

THINGS THAT I WILL NOT MAKE MY BOYFRIEND DO ON VALENTINE'S DAY

I actually have no feelings, really, about Valentine's Day.


To me, it's just one of those pinkish reddish superficial holidays that passes in a blink. I also feel like it caters more toward the ladies rather than the men, and I find that weird. There are two people in the relationship, after all.

I don't got no bae (I LOATHE THAT WORD WITH A PASSION, YET I STILL USE IT BECAUSE I'M SUPPOSED TO BE "RELATABLE"), but in the future, I hopefully will. So, out of love and respect (because no matter how much I pooh-pooh romance, I do enjoy a good chick flick), I will not make him do the following things:

1) WATCH (too many) CHICK FLICKS.

I never really got this, you know. Whenever I read books or movies where two characters are in a relationship, they always "argue" over what move to watch, and it's usually to the extremes: 27 Dresses or Air Force 1? Pride and Prejudice or Shawshank Redemption?

Why does the pendulum have to be so swingy? Choose something in the middle, something that both can enjoy! The Avengers, maybe? (Okay, that's not really romantic...but who says Valentine's Day has to be about romance?.......Okay, okay.) Captain America? (That has some romance.) Spiderman? (Ever heard of Peter Parker and Mary Jane?)

Wow. All of those movies are superhero movies.

Okay, what about an inspirational sports movie? Facing the Giants? It gives you a feel-good feeling, and there are some tender moments. Little Big League? Rookie of the Year?

Ahhhhhhh.

Okay, then what about an animated flick? How to Train Your Dragon 2? Big Hero 6?

Why do we have to watch Jane Austen and Band of Brothers all the time?

Okay, so I might make him watch the occasional chick flick (*coughcough* A Walk to Remember). Mostly so we can laugh at its utter cheesiness. (I hope he never names a star after me.)

2) BUY ME FLOWERS.

Flowers are extremely unpractical (even for me), and I'd rather see a field of living ones versus a bunch of dead ones in a vase.

Okay, okay, I know. It's the thought that counts, and I know that it's sweet. If he bought me some on a whim, I wouldn't mind. It's just that if he asked me if I wanted flowers, I'd say no. Get me some pretty rocks or something. (As a matter of fact, yes. I would rather have those shiny colored pebbles over a bouquet of flowers. And yes, I am being serious.)

Actually, I would prefer notebooks over flowers. Notebooks look cute, and I can use them. I really like notebooks.

Or what about just BOOKS?

Wait, no. If he bought me books I'd probably ignore him for the rest of the evening and read.

3) TAKE ME TO FANCY RESTAURANTS.

Fancy restaurants are not my thing. At all. I can never figure out how to keep my napkin in my lap even at Mimi's Cafe (it keeps sliding off). My clothes would probably give the maitre d (I just Googled how to spell that) shivers. And worse of all, I'd probably just end up getting a cheeseburger. But then, it'd probably be one of those mini ones that cost $14, plus tax and tip, and then I wouldn't be full and we'd have to go on a late-night McDonalds run.

Yup.

I mean, fancy restaurants are fine. I'd like to go to one at least once in my life, just for the experience. But they're so not my thing. I'd rather have a picnic. (Like a legit picnic, where you sit on a blanket and have a basket and sandwiches and everything.) Or go to one of those nitrogen ice cream places where they freeze the ice cream for you right on the spot.

4) BUY ME CANDY...wait, wait, wait no no nonono.

I still need my chocolate fix. I also figured out today that I really like Swedish Fish. I also love Sour Patch Kids, Skittles, Hershey's bars, cinnamon pretzels, and Rollos. Plus Reese's, Godiva, Harry & David...If there's anything you want to get me on Valentine's Day, get me candy!


Happy Valentine's Day, whether you're single, married, or anywhere in between!







11 comments:

  1. This post is absolutely perfect in every way. I'm with you. Well...except on the rocks thing. If someone asked me what I wanted for V-day, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't say "um...those shiny pebble things." Even though I totally get where you're going with that. But I WOULD watch Spider Man. While eating chocolate. And read a book during the boring parts.

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    1. Haha, yeah, the rocks thing is pretty abstract. And I've actually never watched Spiderman, but I want to someday! Maybe he'll introduce me to it or something! Haha.

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  2. Omg saaame if I ever morphed into a person capable of having a boyfriend (which I won't), all I'd want him to do is eat junk food and watch Disney movies with me.

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    1. Yesssssss. We'll eat Double Stuf Oreos and watch FROZEN. #goals

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  3. Is this not the most truthful thing? Right down to the rocks (I love rocks)!

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    1. Rocks are really kool! I actually won a geology book from somewhere when I was eight...but, alas, I never opened it. They're still kool, though ;-)

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  4. I really don't like fancy restaurants. I like pizza.

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