Friday, August 7, 2015

HOW TO DEAL WITH BACK TO SCHOOL

Disclaimer:

**This is meant to be a sarcastic post. Do not follow these instructions or you will probably deal with awful consequences.**




IT'S BACK TO SCHOOL AND GUESS WHO'S FREAKING OUT????? 

We all are! Backpacks! Clothes! Friends! Ex-friends! Losing too many hairbands! A haircut! Highlights??? Dyes?? Principal's slips??? School pictures!!!!!!!!!!

!!!!!!!!!!!ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!

So I, Rachel or Rcubed, have come up with a list of reasons how to avoid this madness! You should follow these reasons! They're really awesome!!

1. DON'T WATCH TV. AT ALL. OR YOUTUBE, PARTICULARLY NOT BEAUTY GURUS' YOUTUBE VIDEOS.

IT IS A CHEMICAL SENSATION THAT HAS ATTACKED THE GREAT AND WONDROUS NATION OF AMERICA (and other countries too!!!!!). Back-to-school commercials! "#BackToSchoolWithBeth"! Cutesy little hashtag things that are supposed to make you excited to go back to school again! Yaaay! Yaaaaaaay! Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay! 


no. not really. cute outfits and heightened saturations and "fun diys" that every pinterest person already knows how to make really do not make me excited for back-to-school. if anything, they make me more depressed.

#BoycottBacktoSchool

2. DON'T GO TO TARGET. 

Target always has a section dedicated to back to school. Cheap backpacks for your excited elementary schooler! Purple planners for the most motivated! Fancy tab thingies and gel pens (for the kindergarteners who don't yet know the meaning of the phrase "blue or black pen only") and mechanical pencils for people who press lightly and Ticonderoga #2s for people who press too hard (like me). 

Just don't go to Target. At all. 

3. WHO EVEN CAME UP WITH THE PHRASE 'BACK TO SCHOOL' ANYWAY??!?!???/1///23R///G

How uncreative is that? Like seriously? "Hey, guys, our kids are all going back to school, so guess what we should call our sale? The 'Back to School Sales Event of the Summer'!"

genius. like seriously, genius.

4. GET AN AFFIDAVIT AND GET HOMESCHOOLED.

All this back-to-school shebang always makes me reminisce how AMAZING it was to be homeschooled. I'm sure in high school it was different, but I had a lot more time when I was homeschooled in elementary school and junior high. 

So why not go back? Or at least try it out for a week? Get an affidavit, and get homeschooled!! Yaaaay!!

5. WHY DOES EVERYONE START IN AUGUST NOW???

Remember when the start date used to be September? Fall leaves, apple cider, warm sweaters, freshly sharpened pencils, red apples (MY BIRTHDAY?!) ?? Now guess what? A lot of people start in August, and everyone has that sour feeling in their mouths, kind of like they just drank lemonade that got stale. Or something poetical like that. I don't know. Poetical stuff is only good during summer and winter. And guess what? Thanks to back to school things, IT'S NOT REALLY SUMMER ANYMORE.

I still start in September, but it's September 1st. Before Labor Day. I'm guessing next year they'll move it up to August. I'll be a senior by then, so I probably won't care as much, but still.

6. Don't read this post. Obviously I don't know how to deal with Back to School.

Probably the best piece of advice I'll give you yet.

Stay stellar.


And Windows 10 is still stinking like a pile of dead vulture carcasses with flies and other vultures buzzing around them. So please stick with me and stay subscribed to my channel while I figure this whole biz out.




9 comments:

  1. Ughhh back to schooool

    Do you know I saw back to school ads back in June? Seriously! I was like, "didn't we literally just get out of school?" Ugh, people be trippin'. But I can say without a doubt that it will definitely be harder for public school kids than for me, and so, a moment of silence for all of you.

    (and now that the moment is over let me say that I totally hear you on Windows 10 and I so regret switching over so soon)

    O | Life as a Young Lady

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  2. You poor thing! Back to school sucks :/ Your advise is pretty good though ;)

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    Replies
    1. Lol yes, I'm a very good advice-giver.

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  3. NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This summer has literally gone by *so* fast! 😱

    And why does school have to start so early?? I start August 25th.

    Stay stellar! ☆☪

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  4. Ughhhhh back to school. I'm not ready. We start the last week of August, and even though I'm homeschooled, life gets so crazy. I hate school...
    xoxo
    Grace Anne // http://totallygraced.blogspot.com

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    Replies
    1. with you, grace. totally with you.

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  5. ugg back to school, also good advice LOL

    http://hottowncoolgirl.blogspot.com/

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